Building healthy friendships means that you have to recognise what a healthy friendship is. People that bring out the best in you is by far an asset to your health and wealth. Friends that take you out of your comfort zone, pushing you to reach your dreams, and still keep your values in tack means you have to know yourself. Know what are your strengths, weaknesses; knowing what you stand for or what your dreams are. When you do not follow a dream, you are busy building on someone else’s dream. If you don’t have values, people can convince you to do anything. If you don’t know your strengths, you will believe you are weak and need others to tell you what to do.
Can Childhood friendships be healthy?
Friendship has a different meaning to you, depending on what stage in your life you are in. The reality is that your mindset regarding relationships is formed as a child and that by itself is complicated. Children are cruel and do not have filters, nor do they have insight. Some children have so much compassion, and then other kids have no emotion, but one thing is sure there is only one person important as a child: me, meself, and I.
If you are lucky, you have parents who teach you to have compassion, that people around you matter, and if you are incredibly privileged, you have parents who teach and model these characteristics to you.
Conflicting emotions prevent you from forming heathy friendships
Growing up, you might have heard sayings like birds of a feather flock together or opposites attract. These sayings contradict each other, but we adapt them to situations as we please. Then, the one with the most important warning of all: If you mix with trash, the pigs will eat you.
In essence, you are attracted to people that are opposite to you. Does this mean you are doomed to meet the wrong person because you are good? Or if they are good, does this mean you are bad? When bad things happen, did you mix with the wrong crowd? We all know that nothing is ever that easy to answer because all the statements can be true or false. It depends on the circumstances.
Making assumptions is a key to many conflicting emotions. Over generalizing can also mean that you can miss out on something precious. Having children that gossip about you in high school does not mean all people gossip. A friend betraying you during university does not tell you every friend needs to be banned from your life. Falling in love with your best friend while your spouse is unavailable for whatever reason does not mean you have to stay away from other people to save a marriage. All of this makes the building of healthy friendships seem like a waste of time. It is just easier to stay away all together you might think. But it is Not!
Why you need friends!
Friends help you celebrate good times. They give you a sense of belonging and purpose. Friends help you going when the going gets tuff. Friends make you laugh when you want to cry. They know when you should ball your eyes out, but you try to be strong. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
On days where isolations are the safer option, your friendships go beyond the physical. A friend hears the fear in your voice or the tiredness in your tone. A friend is an ear that hears without judgment but also the one that directs when trouble comes. Knowing when to push or hold back is not always easy, and having objectivity when friendships get tough help you to navigate this journey is something we all need.
#ITBM- Help you build Healthy Friendships.
“I’m taking back me” in your friendships means you are taking back the importance of building healthy friendships. You recognize that you add value to your friendships as much as what you receive from them. You take a hard look at who you need around you to keep you and how you can be a better friend. Keep yourself and your friends accountable to reach your dreams.
If you don’t see the need for friendships or a friendship keeps you from experiencing peace in any way, call us now to help you form healthy relationships. No more late nights, working. Take a break and spend some time with friends to help you balance work and life.